Coming Home requested by anon
this is actually really fucking motivational
♫ it’s going down, i’m yelling Simba ♫
IT’S BEEN 20 YEARS
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS BEEN 20 YEARS
oh my god…
"I knew I had to date him, that was it. So I made a date with Scott later. [But] Cher had just been to see Sunset Boulevard. And she hunted me down the next day through management, people, whatever.
"They said, ‘Cher wants to have dinner with you.’ And I said: ‘I can’t… have dinner with her.’ And there was a dead silence at the end of the phone: ‘What?!’ ‘I can’t have dinner with Cher because I have a date tonight with Scott.’
"They went: ‘Right, hold on.’ Click. On hold. Over to the other line. Apparently they were going to ask her: ‘He’s got a date, and he doesn’t want to break it.’
"That was the chance of a lifetime for me. I’m not talking about having dinner with Cher, but my date with Scott. The management came back to me and said: ‘Fine, she says, bring him.’
”[…] And we all met up and had dinner with Cher and we had a fab time. At the end of the evening, she said to me: ‘Walk me to my car, you’ll love it.’ As we were walking to the car arm-in-arm, the photographers came out of the bushes, you name it.[…] And the next day in the tabloids, I was her new toyboy.
"But little did they know, the boy with the bicycle that walked out after us went and unhooked his bike. I put her in the car, went off, got my Jag, opened the trunk, put his bike in the trunk, and took I took him home. And he stayed. For eighteen years now.”
- John Barrowman on his first date with husband Scott Gill in 1994
Best love story!!!
not being able to platonically bang your friends is seriously the most unfair things ever, like why can’t one friend just help another friend have an orgasm, slap a high 5 afterwards and then go get some frozen yoghurt and play some grand theft auto
Wait, that’s not a thing?
I BET THAT IF TWO KIDS LIVED IN THOSE TWO HOUSES THAT THEY WOULD COME OUT ON THEIR ALMOST CONJOINING ROOFS OUTSIDE THEIR BEDROOM WINDOWS AND TALK AND BE BEST FRIENDS AND FALL IN LOVE.
I will not write fluff to that. I won’t. No.
LUCY I FOUND IT
But what if instead of two kids, it was, say, a kid and an old woman? And at first they just ignore each other and keep their blinds down and curtains shut, but then the kid climbs out onto the roof one spring morning to get a frisbee and she’s got the window open bc it’s so nice out and she tells him to cut that out, it’s not a jungle gym and maybe the kid shows off a bit and nearly falls, and the old woman catches his arm…. anyway, so sometimes they leave the windows open and the kid’ll show off his comic books or asks what rhymes with ‘beautiful’ (and it’s totally for homework shut up), and the old woman tells him about all the protests and marches she took part in, and asks him the name of that one cute pop star (it’s absolutely for her crossword now shush). And the old woman gives the kid relationship advice, and doesn’t tell when he tries a bit too much of his parents’ liquor cabinet one time, and the kid comes over and shows her how to use the smartphone her daughter bought for her, and doesn’t tell when she sneaks a cigarrette out of said daughter’s bag. And when the weather’s too bad to open the windows, they tape silly pictures or notes to the glass for the other to see (the kid makes sure to make his extra big so she doesn’t have to admit her eyeight isn’t what it used to be), and when it is nice the kid will sneak over and leave seashells on her windowsill, because the old woman said once she misses the sea, but she can’t travel like she used to. And one day he peeks in her window and sees her on the floor, and calls 911 and basically saves her life because she had a stroke and nobody would’ve known in time otherwise. And when she finally gets back from the hospital, just for a while because her daughter’s talking about a retirement home where she’ll have plenty of medical care and lots of friends her age, the kid comes through the window and then pulls another kid through the window who he introduces as his boyfriend, and says he wanted her to meet him. And she sniffs and interrogates the boyfriend in proper elderly relative fashion, and then declares him worthy of her boy— barely. And when she finally does have to go to that retirement home, the kid still comes to visit her, and always leaves seashells on the windowsill.
I’m not crying or anything
I am omg
jesus fucking christ piglet what the fuck
no it’s ok, pooh had it coming
wow what a douche
yeah no really don’t feel sorry for him he’s a butthole
This post is now 80% better.
jfc pooh bear
I still think the funniest thing about all these comics is that they’re all legit official comics
I AM SO MAD I HAD THIS PICTURE READY FOR WHEN LEO WON AND HE LOST THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING